Love & Fear
by Lou Conjar
At any moment in time, we are faced with two, and only two, choices. Although current circumstances may appear to present a myriad of choices, or even no choice at all, if you look deeply enough you will realize that the basic choice is always there. We may choose the path of Love or the path of Fear. Another way to say it is - we may choose the path of God or the path of Ego.
Such a simple choice, or so it would seem. Which one of us would not opt for Love if our choice seemed so clear? After all, love is what we all say we want. Fear, although it may seem to provide a "rush" which makes us "feel alive" at times, is usually not a very pleasant experience while we are still in the midst of it. Otherwise, there wouldn't be such a sense of relief when the fearful circumstance passed. Love brings peace and joy. Fear brings stress and anxiety.
So why do we often opt for fear? Because from the Ego's standpoint, love can be terrifying. Love requires that we give up control. Fear allows us to seemingly maintain a certain degree of control. Love can make us vulnerable, or so we think. Fear allows us to keep the illusion that, by maintaining vigilance, we can logically determine the best course of action, and protect ourselves, if necessary.
Choosing Love means that we have to "expose" ourselves, including what we perceive as our weaknesses and, therefore, open ourselves up to possible manipulation and pain. Most of us have painful memories of, after opening ourselves up to Love, being hurt and/or disappointed by those we trusted most. Divorce rates attest to that. When we are hurt and manipulated by those we love, our trust is shattered. We feel violated. The fear then leads to anger. We swear we will never allow ourselves to be so vulnerable again. We chastise ourselves for being so "stupid" as to trust in the first place. And so the Ego has the ammunition it needs to get us to begin building "walls" which we think will protect us from future pain. What the Ego doesn't tell us is that, by building these walls, we prevent ourselves from receiving the love we truly want and deserve. That's why, after a time of recovery, we usually decide to again "take a chance" on love. However, the Ego is not about to give up without a fight. Therefore, although we think we are opening up to Love again, we withhold a little of the trust that we had given so freely before. Then, if we get hurt again, we retreat even more firmly into the Ego's world of fear and control. And so a vicious cycle is set into motion.
Because the force of Love is so powerful, after a time, we again realize that we cannot live without it and decide (again) to "take a chance". The Ego, remembering the hurt from before, wages an all out war against Love. It will do everything in its power to keep the "protective walls" in place. In fact, it will do everything possible to fortify them. That includes "sabotaging" the new relationship by bringing up fears from the past in order to poison the new relationship and show you that it knows what is best for you. Protection at all costs. What the Ego won't tell you, of course, is that this is the way it maintains its control over you. In fact, this is the way it maintains its existence. The Ego realizes that, without fear, there is no reason for you to need it. Love, or God, can supply all your needs. Hence, if you allow Love, or God, to guide you totally, there is no need for Ego. So, in truth, the Ego is fighting for its very life. And it can be utterly ruthless in its battle to survive. But do not think that, upon realizing this, you must now wage an all-out war against the Ego. First of all, it is a war you cannot win because you would be fighting it on the Ego's turf, and on the Ego's terms, so to speak. Any way, how to deal with it is a subject for another commentary. In this one, I would like to simply help you realize that the Ego wants you to stay away from Love. It actually is trying to help you by protecting you from additional pain and suffering. However, it is also protecting itself, protecting its own existence, and it will fight for its survival in any way it can - even if that means hurting you in the process. So please don't hate the Ego. Just realize that this is why we build and fortify the "walls" that are meant to keep us safe. And realize that, only by letting down the walls, can Love fully enter our consciousness.
There is a steep price to be paid for trying to be "safe". Realize this and "choose once again". Love is the answer to a happier, more joyful, life. Don't perpetuate and strengthen Fear in the world. Choose Love. By doing so, you lift the consciousness of the world. The choice is always open to you. Every moment of every day. It is the only choice you have.
